A somewhat regularly updated accuont of my nutty life!
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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
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Monday, January 13, 2003
I got the oddest message when I woke up today. My best friend, who is currently residing in Portland, Maine has been having some troubles lately. Well, I'm not sure they're troubles... or at least I'm not sure he considers them troubles... but I have this strong feeling that I should do something to help him get out of the situation he's in right now. However, in the past, people have told both of us that our relationship was a bit codependent ... that we depend too much on each other... I don't know if that's true ... but I suppose trying to persuade him to leave a situation, that he's not entirely sure he wants to leave could fall into that cateogory. However, today I woke up to an entirely musical message. Someone playing a song for me on my machine. (Caller ID told me it was him) The song: "Skid Row" from "Little Shop Of Horrors" ... well the lyrics go like this:
Somebody show me a way to get out of here... cause I constantly pray I'll get out of here... please won't somebody say I'll get out of here... someone give me my shot or I'll rot here ... show me how and I will, I'll get out of here ... I'll start climbing uphill and I'll get out of here ... someone tell me I could still get out of here ... someone tell lady luck that I'm stuck here ... gee it sure would be swell to get out of here .. pick a goddamned fare well and get out of here ... i'd move heaven and hell to get out of skid... I'd do I don't know what to get out of skid ... a helluva a lot to get out of skid ... people tell me there's not a way out of skid ... but believe me I'd like to get out of skid row!...
OK - so is this a hint?...
I think I need to do something ... My "spidey sense" was already saying "Danger Will Robinson ... Danger Will Robinson..." So ... do I try to be Superman?... He's certainly flown down and saved me many times... On the selfish side ... I know it would be good for me to spend time with him... good for both of us probably...
Somebody show me how to get him out of skid row...
Be well and be fun... or at least just BE!
8:44 PM
Sunday, January 12, 2003
I'm not sure what's wrong with me sometimes...
That's kind of a general statement ... But it applies to so much of my life.
The biggest thing, or at least what's on my mind right now as I'm kind of swirling, is that I seem to want the things that aren't as attainable. I've always wondered whether or not that's because I want the things I can't have, or if it's just that the things that are easily attainable, just isn't what I'm looking for...
Adrian is such a wonderful guy ... truly ... and there is love in my heart for him. But ... when I look at a future ... I'm just not sure what I see ...
I feel as though there are things missing ... things that should be there but aren't ... things that I don't know if I'm lacking ... or he is ... or if it's more complicated than that. Currently, I'm jealous, because I passed down the opportunity to be in an orgy, with someone I find myself digging quite a bit ...
So I did the right thing - but I find myself jealous. I guess I want him to want me... I'm not sure if it's because of him, or because I just want everyone to want me... I know, of course that not everyone is going to want me... Sometimes most people don't ... and I don't know if it's about me ... about the other person ... or if it's just human nature.
I want a spark. I want chemistry. I want to want more than I do ...
I'm making no sense right now - but I guess that's the wonders of "G" ...
I'm unhappy ... but I think that's just my own doing. C'est la vie ... tommorrow is another day.
Be well and be fun... or at least just BE!
6:00 AM
Friday, January 03, 2003
It's said that they're often made ... rarely kept ... Perhaps that's because so few of us can remember even two weeks into any given January what exactly we planned to "resolve" for the upcoming year ... Well, in the interest of sticking to them, and perhaps giving those of you who skim this occasionally a good chuckle or two ... here are the 10 that seemed to come to mind first ... that's right kids...
New Years Resolutions:
1.) Get back to NYC in 2003.
2.) Start trusting the right people, and cutting loose the wrong ones.
3.) Reconnect with people who have been absent from the picture for too long. (Jamie, Kristina, Ben, Robyn, Tonya, Scott ... there's quite a list.)
4.) Get rid of those pesky few pounds that just don't make the clothes look their best.
5.) A winter jacket that ISN'T made out of denim!
6.) Write a letter to Aaron Sorkin asking him when the "West Wing" is going to start being great again.
7.) Revisit 87'th & Broadway ... meaning re-writes, re-thinking and perhaps making it a REality!
8.) Have a relationship with the right person, for the right reasons, the right way! (Is this possible... maybe this is the year to find out)
9.) Get back my financial independence! (Mom and Dad would be so thrilled)
10.) Update my damn webpage a little more often for my few friends who read it! ;)
Happy New Year all!
Be well and be fun... or at least just BE!
5:50 AM
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