A somewhat regularly updated accuont of my nutty life!
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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
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Saturday, February 28, 2004
I write this entry, a bit stoned having just re-read my last entry and having a hearty chuckle again at Eric's audacity. LOL ... good comedy.
So, it's been a bit since I've written... the computer situation has been back and forth the past week ... so it's mostly been a situation of access.
Last weekend I was sad and mopey... I did one of those stupid things that I do sometimes, that I later realize I wasn't emotionally equipped to handle and end up all "hurt feeling Kevin" ... Felt kinda lonely and like I was always the last one people wanted...blah, blah, blah ... But I guess it's faded a bit ... I've found myself a bit stronger this week. Went out a few times with this guy I had met (and subsequently made out with) at the club last week ... he was sweet, seems interested ... decent fella I was getting to know. Well, getting to know slowly until he invited me to go on an outing with him and some friends to a bathouse in Rhode Island on Saturday. LOL. Now ... although I can not say that I've never graced the inside of a bathhouse (and dear God, my ex was obsessed with them, unbeknownst to me for half the relationship... lol) ...anyway, I digress... so ... although I've been to them before (not frequently by any means) I didn't think it certainly screamed "Gosh, I think you're special... and I want to get to know you better." LOL ... it really more conveyed: "Hey, you're kinda good looking, and a few of my friends I've probably slept with before, and I, are going to go out for some great group sex fun ... I think you should come along and we can deepen our knowledge of each other over poppers and a group bottom!"
Mmm hmmm... I declined the invitation, and nicely clued him in that we would probably not see each other again till we perhaps run into each other in a bar someday. I told him always feel free to say hello if he likes. LOL. Unfortunately I didn't remember to tell him to make DAMN sure I wasn't drunk first... lol - We all know how I can be on THOSE nights... hehehehe
I talked to Al (aka Christmas Miracle) the other night... because of a conversation we had had about honesty and such, he decided to tell me he had just kinda started dating someone ... GOD ... a guy who is honest, hurts my feelings, but KNOWS that it's what I want him to do and so has the balls to anyway ... FUCK! How do I do the things I should be doing with some boy who is in Georgia?... Fuck fate!
Anyway, so I'm sitting at Mike's right now and we're about to head out to the Roxy for the last hour of it's afterhours ... Just wanted to get something on the blog as it's been a while ...
A bathhouse in Rhode Island?... LOL - we haven't even been out to a dinner yet! I know that old fashioned girl is in me somewhere dammit! ;)~
1:41 AM
Sunday, February 15, 2004
A friend of mine told me a story recently that amused me, and I thought I'd share it here... in his words:
ecrandall: this guy left NO tip
ecrandall: and he was an ass about it
ecrandall: so I was an ass back
ecrandall: I gave him a pen because he was using a card...then I had food come up for the back barrel so I was like 5 minutes getting back to the guy because everyone was busy so no one could follow with another tray....
ecrandall: and after I delivered the food the guy was standing at the hostess station and the reciept was scribbled out and he was paying in cash...and he said to me "the tip went away while I was waiting"
ecrandall: so I gave him change and told him his thanks and come again went away with the tip, and now he can just go away with his change.
ecrandall: and he asked to speak to a manager but larry had just gone to congress st
ecrandall: so he left
ecrandall: but I've never seen him or his fat wife before....so I'm not too worried
ecrandall: and of course I'll deny it even though a couple of regulars who were at the counter heard me.
ecrandall: I am not very good at being nice so I don't know what the hell I'm doing waiting tables and tomorrow is Sunday and there is a group that always comes in and asks for me...but there is a HUGE HUGE HUGE guy who just rounds up to the next dollar and that's my tip when he pays...and he has been consistent even though everyone else in that party (there are usually 6) tips okay...
ecrandall: and he is the most demanding bastard to wait on
ecrandall: and I'm going to say something.
ecrandall: and I know he knows Lisa because he asked if she was there once and I thought he meant Lisa Gray but it was Bissonnett that he was wondering about....but if they are going to fucking request me they are going to fucking tip me or I won't take them anymore...and that's that....I'm in a bad mood...can you tell?
ME: yeh, I can
LOL - only at Denny's ... thank god I'm now a "Friendly's Boy" ... LOL
7:49 AM
Thursday, February 12, 2004
So I've been doing drugs a lot lately... LOL - It's interesting, because I always wondered what life would be like if I had a job and a life and did drugs on the side...as opposed to Florida where it's all I ever did and had nothing else to balance it out.
This boy who I'd only known casually, ended up hooking me up with Miss Tina and she's been visiting off and on for two weeks... a day here... a few days there... It's been fun, and David and I have been partying and hanging out together. "Derek" my "connection" and I have gotten closer ... he actually spent the night and slept the other night. It was nice to cuddle with a boy I like... but it's funny cause that's all we've ever really done. We've kissed a few times, but never for long ...always very sweet and I still get the butterflies when we do ... But, I'm basically beginning to get the feeling that the interest is mostly mine. Like I'd said before, he's kind of got himself "stuck" in that lifestyle that goes along with selling, to a point. Also, I just don't quite think that he's got the interest in me that I seem to be showing in him ... The other night, I was kind of sad and wanted to hang out ... turns out he had ended up hooking up instead and that's why he didn't want to hang out. I dunno ... it's not really any of my business, it's just kind of a sign that he's probably not interested in more than friendship with me ... So I've been down about that tonight ... ended up smoking a bowl and now here I am writing away ... stoned off my ass! hahaha
I seem to have such wretched luck anytime I like someone ... sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it ... I'm tired of always wondering "why not me?" ... But that seems to be the question of my life... BLAH!
OK, I need to stop sounding all gloom and doom ... someone once told me that it's extremely unattractive to read that about someone in their blog... LOL - I told him to stop reading my blog then. He and I don't talk much anymore. LOL
Work is going well ... I think my friend Eric might get a job there too. First I got him to come work at Denny's with me... now I'm getting him to come work at Friendly's with me... lol - I guess I just needed another queer at work ... I think I is the only one. I made friends with this girl Trish, one of the sundae making "fountain girls" ... she seems to be a pretty cool chick ...
Also, been thinking about Georgia lately... lol - how nice it would be to visit that wonderful person there. The one who is so much like me, and thinks that I'm pretty wonderful too ... But, of course... when one meets someone who is perfect... they couldn't possibly live the same state, let alone the same town.
Doomed! I'm doomed I tell you! LOL - I should start preparing for my "Old Maid" days... lol - they seem closer every day. I wonder if I'll need a rocker... ;)
3:53 AM
Sunday, February 08, 2004
Yet again, a few weeks have gone by since I've posted anything. And of course, that usually means that a lot has been going on. As I've said a million times, when you're out living your life it's sometimes hard to find the time to write about it.
Now that's not to say that I don't spend way too much time in front of my computer, chatting it up, checkin out the chatrooms and occasionally stopping in to visit Manhunt (ick, I know!) but it takes equal parts discipline, inspiration, time and attitude for me to sit down and write a good blog entry. But alas dear readers... it's time to update you on what's been going on in life.
First: I HAVE A JOB AGAIN! YAY ME! ... LOL - About two weeks ago(ish) I started working at Friendly's. It's very similar to Denny's in some ways... same style food ... similar work environment ... same TYPE of restaurant. But I find myself much happier at this new place (which coincidentally is right down the street from the old job) ... First of all I work nights, which is much better for me. No more struggling to be up at 5:30am so that I can be there and pretend to be a happy waiter by 7am. The shifts are much shorter too and I make equal, if not better money. I work 4, 5 or 6 hours and make what I did in a grueling day at Denny's. There's a lot less "grunt work" to do ... not as many meaningless tasks thrust upon the servers that really serve no purpose except to keep the inspectors happy on their occasional visits. All in all, I'm very happy at my new job and I've been doing really well there so far. It feels AMAZING to work again ... to be able to get back on my own two feet and to not be constantly poor. It was a rough month with no job. It was definitely a wake up call and definitely made me appreciate what I had. I shall be much more careful as to be a model employee here. Not to say I wasn't at Denny's... they just made it WAY to easy for me to be late all the time. LOL - yeah that's it ... it was all their fault! ;)
I would say the second thing that I'm very happy about is the new friend I've made. His name is David, and we met and started hanging out a few weeks ago. We're certainly still in "new friendship" territory, but it's been quite a while since I've had a friend who is so very much "what you see is what you get." He's a genuinely sweet, kind, funny as shit person and I have a lot of fun hanging out with him He happens to be drop-dead-gorgeous, so I, of course, had my obligatory 2 day crush on him ... During that time, I met someone who I've been somewhat interested in ...and that managed to put the kibosh on my friend crush earlier than usual. I think that's a good thing, cause for once I've made a really decent friend... one who I feel comfortable with ... and it's best I didn't get the chance to screw that up by deciding that he should be my new husband. LOL
Thirdly... after almost 7 months in Maine, I've finally discovered a connection for something other than just weed. LOL - took me long enough, but dammit - I finally did it! HAHAHA. Last weekend David and I spent the better part of it doing tina, hanging out, talking and getting to know each other. It'd been a while since I'd done Tina in any great degree. Zack and I did it that one night while I was in PA for Christmas (before that it had been since Florida that I'd done it) ... but we didn't really "tina binge" ... hehehe
It's fun, because it's so different and much more enjoyable to hang out and chill on then getting drunk and acting a fool.
One small problem... I've started to fall for my "connection" (the boy I mentioned a few paragraphs up) ... He's this really cool kid, who I had talked to for months online...and had randomly met a few times, but never really hung out with. "Derek", as we'll refer to him for blog purposes, just got out fo a 2 year relationship so he's not eager to get back into something serious. He's also very into the "lifestyle" that goes along with the whole tina thing. That makes it harder to get to know him, definitely. He rarely has free time, and when he does it's spent doing tina with other friends, out making deliveries or any other of many different scenarios. We've gotten to hang (briefly) a few times in the past week... but he hasn't shown a real interest (perhaps I should say effort instead of interest) in spending some real time together and see what each other is all about ...
But nonetheless, there's a lot I like about this boy. But my downfall is always seeming to overeager. Always letting the other boy see my hand too early... And, typically, I have done so ... and "Derek: seems to shy away, in part because of that I think. I'm doing my best to just not think about ti too much ...call him when I need tina, and let him call me when he has time for more than just that. Here's hoping that he picks up the ball and runs with it. Or at least crawls a little bit. Tippy-toes, even ...
It's 6:30 in the morning as I write this.. Miss Tina has kept me awake fo ra few days, I just took a few allergy pills... hopefully my ass will be out soon and I can recover before working again tommorrow afternoon.
I'm a little sad today also, but for reasons that I'm not sure I want to share in my blog here... Nothign serious... just kinda blue. But what is it that they say? This too shall pass!...
6:31 AM
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